Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone by Mark Goulston M.D. & Keith Ferrazzi (Foreword)

Author:Mark Goulston M.D. & Keith Ferrazzi (Foreword) [KEITH FERRAZZI]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Goulston (Get Out of Your Own Way at Work) returns with a primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario—defiant executives; angry employees; families in turmoil; warring couples—through use of well-honed psychological techniques, Self Help
ISBN: 9780814414033
Publisher: AMACOM
Published: 2011-01-15T17:50:53.305000+00:00

112 12 Quick and Easy Ways to Achieve Buy-in and Get Through The Impossibility Question works with a person who’s somewhere between resisting and listening, but not ready to move to considering. Typically, the person is wavering between fear (“this is a threatening idea, and it will fail and ruin me”) and apathy (“this may be a good idea, but it sounds like too much effort on my part”).

If you’re lucky, there might be a flicker of interest in there somewhere (“Hmmm . . . could it work? Who knows.”). But without a shove, your idea is going nowhere. That powerful shove is the Impossibility Question.

Here’s how it works.

You: What’s something that would be impossible to do, but if you could do it, would dramatically increase your success?

Other person: If I could just do ____ , but that’s impossible.

You: Okay. What would make it possible?

That’s it, just two quick questions: “What’s something that would be impossible?” and, “What would make it possible?”

What’s so powerful about those two questions? They move a person from a defensive, closed position or a selfish, excuse-making stance into an open, thinking attitude. And they make the person picture your vision as a reality and cooperate in thinking strate-gically about reaching that reality.

When you ask people to tell you something that’s impossible, you are in essence getting them to say something positive: “I believe this is impossible.” Thinking and saying that shifts their minds into a positive (agreeing) movement toward you. Once they’re in that “Yes” vs. “No” or “Yes, but” mode and you agree with them but add the twist—“What would make it possible?”—they’re poised to cooperate.

This approach is a little like the martial arts ploy that uses an opponent’s offensive move against the person by pulling the opponent off balance instead of striking back. It works because rather than resisting that movement you mirror it and invite it, causing the other person to go off balance. Once this happens, the person moves from resisting or thinking to considering, and you have traction.

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